Searching the web for articles and resources for the victims or survivors of love/sex addicts, I mostly found articles dealing with living with the addict or support for the families of these addicts. Though the predator's long-suffering family surely deserve sympathy, support and healing ... the predator's "other women" are usually dismissed as stupid, naive, deserving it, homewreckers, etc.. There is generally more sympathy and compassion shown to the addict himself than those he destroys in his "acting out."
We are the ones who suffer in silent shame, some crushed to the core. We are intelligent, creative, beautiful, strong and loving women who happened to have fallen into a very calculated and cunning trap, victims of "love." None of us deserved to be the receptacle for this man's anger, hatred and pain.
Like some sort of perverted drug pusher, he conspired to make addicts of us all, he knew how to "brain-rape" us and deliver a near fatal dose of his charm and manipulation. He knew just when to pull back the supply to keep his "junkies" in control. Then leaving them "cold turkey" without reason or explanation, just a hint that he had some leftover for them. It then thrilled him to be "stalked," it gave him a greater sense of power. For him, love was power and his fear of not being" younger, stronger, taller, smarter, richer," would diminish temporarily with each new conquest.
People just don't realize the mind-control and lies these men tell to "get their fix." With the monster that violated me and countless others, it was doubly bad, being an energy worker gifted with psychological insight and telepathy, he knew just what to say to each of us to believe in his sincerity, his undying love and our special soul bond. He touched our hearts, he touched our souls, then he crushed them.
With many of us he was forthright about his addiction and his desire to heal himself. Some of us now believe he even used his "love addiction" as a means to garner sympathy, trust and compassion, after all, what other secret could he possibly be hiding since he was so open with his greatest shame? "I have no reason to lie to you now" was his badge of honor. His "disease" became one more excuse to hide behind in his cruel and cunning behavior.
He would often tell me that we were not "two hearts that beat as one," but "we were ONE heart." Now I would say that is probably correct, between the two of us there was only one heart, and it wasn't his.
A kindhearted young woman was walking through the forest in winter. A poisonous snake lay nearly dead in the snow. The snake begged the young woman to pick him up and warm him, to please save his life.
She resisted saying,
"You are a poisonous snake and you will bite me and I'll die!"
He begged and pleaded and promised not to bite her so she finally took pity and placed him in the warmth of her breast. As the snake warmed up, he viciously bit her.
As she lay dying she asked,
"Why did you bite me - you promised you wouldn't?"
As the snake slithered away he looked back hissing:
"Lady you knew I was a snake when you picked me up!"
~an old folk tale
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